Sometimes it takes big things to make you realize it's better to be inexperienced. Sometimes, you have to lose people, to realize that sometimes, other people need them more, and that you're not quite suited to be their friend anyways.

I used to wish for different types of drama in my life, but it doesn't necessicarily make you better adjusted. I used to think that I'd be a good person to talk to in crisis situations for friends. Maybe I'm not.

I am feeling second fiddle in my life again, and I don't really care, because this is not my life, and this probably won't be. Tonight, I've probably witnessed the end of at least 2, and possibly 3 friendships, through no fault of my own. I know that they won't stay together after tonight, and that I've been dusted by the other one because I'm a part of an old life she's cast off like a snake skin.
*I am not calling her a snake, I just mean that she's shed her old life in one large piece, and I feel like I'm on it.

I have to learn that I am not responsible for fixing other people's drama, and that if people don't want to associate with me as much, it is not necessicarily me. Because of what happened this weekend, I feel like I've chosen my allegance, purposefully or not, and there's no turning back. If one person decides to show their true colors, and the other does what she says she is going to do, then I can't do anything but let them come to me if they want to continue.

Fuck complications.
Fuck double standards.
Fuck being a spare tire.
Just fuck it.

Older Stuff:
- - February 07, 2007
WHEE! - January 10, 2007
Here's to warm hands! - January 09, 2007
teaching frustration - November 29, 2006
I can die happy now. - October 29, 2006

don't be afraid of the future. it doesn't include you, it only removes you.

It is the duty of every patriot to protect his country from his government."
- Thomas Payne