grokster ate my entry.

don't ask.

I will sum it up for you: I haven't been abusing my Nyquil lately, and I haven't been sleeping, and I've felt crappy. I've not been eating lunch. I expect people to automatically understand how I feel and then maybe try to help, but they don't get it because I stuff everything down and just feel worse and worse.

so lunch for me will now be spent sitting in the abandoned stairwell, reading Edgar Allen Poe, I understand he had many of the same problems and was an alcoholic to boot, like I intend to become.

*stares at greenish blue liquidy tab things* *downs them*

I was laying off of them because I thought it might make me feel better... to not medicate myself; diddn't work.

So I've doubled what I prescribe myself.

I'm hoping it will do something horrible to my liver, I think its already messed up from chemo, but in case it's trying to heal itself...

so I'll see you in the hallways, I'll be the girl with the headphones and the big book, the one trying to drown out the world.

water didn't work, music doesn't quite, so now we move on to alcohol, big books and over the counter meds. But I'll take some morphine if you've got it.

Older Stuff:
weird weird dream. - June 18, 2006
jobness! - June 08, 2006
rommate flux - May 29, 2006
- - May 28, 2006
- - May 19, 2006

don't be afraid of the future. it doesn't include you, it only removes you.

It is the duty of every patriot to protect his country from his government."
- Thomas Payne