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Chia's feelin
BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH! I had a shitty ass day. I felt shitty all through my morning classes and homeroom. Then lunch time came. I was in the Beanery line waiting to finally get to the front. I saw my friend Tirza from last year, and she asked me if I wanted to go to this punk concert tomorrow night. Of course I wanted to go! So I asked her to call me tonight with the details, and told her I asked my mom. I figured that mom would let me go, because she's always badgering me about having a social life. So I was really really happy during the rest of my classes. And then I went home. I called my mom, and I told her about the concert. She said I couldn't go, because she doesn't know Tirza that well. I hung up on her. Later, she calls me back and tells me we'll talk about it when she gets home. Tirza hasn't called, so I have no info about the concert. Mom wants to know who's playing (like she'd know if I told her?!). She wants to know if Tirza's dad is going to "supervise". She's so fucking over-protective. She doesn't trust that I can take care of myself. She'll tell me "You're almost 16!" when she wants me to do something, and then when I want to do soemthing, she acts like I'm too young. She says it's "not you I don't trust.". Right. She's said herself that I'm "a good kid.". She won't let me have a life. She is smothering me. I need to breathe, I need to go out on my own, I can't just hang around the house all the time, and I am most certainly not going to her church's damn youth group. She doesn't want me to hang out with friends, because "she doesn't know them.". If she wanted to keep me away from anyone she doesn't know, she might as well just kill me herself. I admit it. I don;t really have a life. It's school, zoo, and the internet. How come everytime something comes along to make me happy, she has to go and kill it? Despite all my rage, I am still just a Chiajedi in a cage.... I tried being mature about it and speaking calmly about it, but it didn't work. Screaming never works for me, so I am going to sulk. I am not leaving this room until I get my way. or in the way it looks, 'till Monday morning..... What's so wrong about wanting a break from my life? What's so wrong about wanting to get out of the house and do something for once? I just want to be taken away from all this. Somewhere where I don't have to smile when I feel like screaming or crying. No one seems to understand the fact that I am not happy. Open your eyes, before it's too late. I've never really openly rebelled against her, but you know what? It's never too late to start.
Older Stuff:
don't be afraid of the future. it doesn't include you, it only removes you.
It is the duty of every patriot to protect his country from his government."
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