Blargh...

I feel...unloved.

Nobody loves me.

I want someone I love to love me back.

No one I care about *that* way ever

likes me back.

Ever.

Since 1st grade even...

I was all lonely at lunch, I couldn't find my friends, and I was just sitting alone, listening to Rage Against the Machine, and and reading this book I've gotten into, Good Omens. But I was just sitting all alone, and as much as it may seem untrue, I don't like being alone. I was a loner for most of my life, but it wasn't a choice, it was because I was a social pariah.

I have no one I can hang out with who truly understands me.

I don't think anyone loves me, not counting my mom.

I mean, my dad made me cry today.

My "godmother" Kathy was helping my with Algebra, because I was out of school for a few days, and missed a load of shit, and did not understand anything when I got back. And dad was working on the bathroom.

Auntie Kathy asked if he'd do her bathroom, since he promised to help with handy-person stuff since her dad died. He said he'd do it when I got an "A" in algebra.

According to mom and him, he didn't mean it the way I heard it.

But that really hurt my feelings.

Why am I even alive?

There's no fucking point to my life anyways.

The only good thing to happen to me today was me pissing off my dad with my music; I was listening to Papa Roach, and it was at the part of this song that goes:

Fuck your money,
Fuck your posessions
Fuck your obsessions,
I don't need that shit.

And dad was cleaning the fish tank in my room, and he turned to me and said, "What is this?". "Papa Roach" I replied. "I don't like you listening to this music.".

I just smirked, but what I was really thinking was:

"Too bad, ya jerk. Just you try and censor what I listen to. You can't stop from listening to the stuff that keeps me sane.

Older Stuff:
weird weird dream. - June 18, 2006
jobness! - June 08, 2006
rommate flux - May 29, 2006
- - May 28, 2006
- - May 19, 2006

don't be afraid of the future. it doesn't include you, it only removes you.

It is the duty of every patriot to protect his country from his government."
- Thomas Payne