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All writings on these pages are © Kristina Lee |
Chia's feelin The filter on my fish tank is rattling. That just pisses me off so much... I'm not sure why. I've messed with the filter now. It's stopped. But something is still bugging me, and I'm not sure what it is. That in itself is annoying. The Phantom Annoyance. It's like something is just lurking in the shadows, waiting to piss me off... Everything has been, it seems, been pissing me off lately. I'm turning into an angry person. I'm not sure I like that very much. My "friends" in real life... Little idiots who insult me behind my back... Absolute MORONS who insult my intellegence to my FACE.... Teachers who pile on busy work, for no damned reason... Just about everything... And the day just ticks by slowly... and I sit in class counting the seconds till I can be free to do what I want. School is just feeling like a giant waste of time. I'm becoming incredibly apathetic towards it, and many other things I'm expected to deal with. Oblivion would be welcomed. Just release from all the petty problems that seem to follow me around...everywhere. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure whether this is apathy or simply bordom. I don't think I've ever been this bored with real life for ages now... I need a cause. A purpose. A reason to get up in the morning, other than the people I care about. Some thing that stops me from wanting to just sit at the bottom of a pool for a few hours... I'm not depressed...no... Just disillusioned. School makes me bitchy. Oh, and I've listened to "Knives Out" about 20 times tonight... 11:10 pm Ok, changed my song... Needles, by System of a down, at least 15 times... I'm sitting in my room, with a needle in my hand, waiting for the tomb of some old dying man. 11:46 pm Back to listening to Shawn Colvin... she has a lovely voice... *sits back, closes eyes, ponders life and love and drifts off to sleep* 12:24 am Who am I kidding... I'm not tired. I'm not buzzed, but I'm not even a bit sleepy... methinks it was the Dr. Pepper. Caffine didn't used to work on my when I had the tumor. Neither did advil or whatnot...I don't think anything did. *continues to ponder* I wonder how late I can stay up on the internet without my mom busting in and telling me to turn off the puter and go to sleep... I wonder how long until she threatens to cut me off from the internet for the weekend? I wonder if I should go to sleep? *does a few calculations in head* Agh... my head feels funny... maybe I am sleepy? I'll try this again... goodnight world! One last thought: I long to just lie under a clear sky full of stars at night... I should go camping... too bad my parents aren't the outdoor type. =0P
Older Stuff:
don't be afraid of the future. it doesn't include you, it only removes you.
It is the duty of every patriot to protect his country from his government."
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